No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Come see our sink grown plant.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
