I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
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Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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