I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
