Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
