I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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