does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize