Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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