my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
smell my finger.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
