Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize