I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
