I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
