I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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