thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Holy sore nipples Batman
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
