Dude my mom stole all your condoms
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
