I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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