Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
