forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
