wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
