we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize