Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
