Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize