Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
