either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
