I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
