Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
