He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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