I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
