i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
