she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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