i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
