When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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