I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
