Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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