belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
