We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize