All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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