3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
