would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you win again, gameday.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
