was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
