While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
