And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
