you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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