Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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