Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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