I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
