Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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