you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
