Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize