Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
