I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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