So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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