oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
