Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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