My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
