Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
