I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
