I'd wear matching sweaters with you
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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