i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy