Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES