Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
