The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
thus making me awesome and them whores
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
