i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
