Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize