I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
