apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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