my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
