I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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