how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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