At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
