i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
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Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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